no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
