Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
