I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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