Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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