Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
