I CAN MOONWALK!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
