i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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