What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
