I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
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I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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