3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
