Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
