He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
