haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.