Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
They have beer where we have blood.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
