fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
