I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
