I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So. Much. Porn.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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