apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
