We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
