the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.