Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
