I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.