OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize