pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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