is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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