Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
