so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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