Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
