we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
