she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
