HIV tests are more positive than that guy
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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