so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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