Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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