Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize