um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
