my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
