He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
