My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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