I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just gargled with NyQuil
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
