he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just pee around me
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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