We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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