please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
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