If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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