"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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