I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
