I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
