i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
