then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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