its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
