Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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