i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Someone signed my nipple.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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