he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together