I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.