I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina