I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid