Nicole vs. Life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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