you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
