yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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