I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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