Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
