And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize