Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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