Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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