My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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